The art of cozy living: why Spaniards don’t need candles

In a tapas bar in Marbella, I recently overheard a Dutch couple sighing that Spaniards “don’t really do gezelligheid.” I smiled. Having lived in England for years, I thought I knew what coziness was — until I heard the Dutch talk about gezelligheid. A word that fascinates even my British friends, because it seems to include everything from candlelight to croquettes.

But here in Andalusia, I’ve learned that cozy living in Spain doesn’t mean lighting candles — it’s something that happens naturally. You don’t need to buy accessories for it — just people.

The Dutch secret: atmosphere in jars and wicks

In the Netherlands, coziness often feels like a DIY project. You buy it at Blokker, pour it into glass, light it up, and wait for it to work. Candles, blankets, string lights — the more atmosphere, the better. There’s something endearing about that urge to create warmth in a country where it rains nine months of the year. But it also leads to a funny misunderstanding: that atmosphere is a matter of things.

Maybe it’s because of that earlier piece I wrote about smart lighting, but I’ve realized how different light feels here. That was about what lamps do — this is about what they don’t have to do. Sometimes the most beautiful atmosphere is simply what remains when you leave the lights off.

Light without lamps: the Spanish way of being together

In Spain, light is everywhere. It comes from outside — from walls white enough to reflect the sun, from open windows, from voices echoing through the patio. Coziness here has nothing to do with candles, but everything to do with presence. No one says, “let’s make it cozy” — they simply already are.

A meal lasts three hours, not because there are so many courses, but because no one is in a hurry. People laugh, talk over each other, pour more wine, and break bread. You don’t hear a gentle crackle — you hear life itself bubbling around you.

Food, sound, and closeness — the real social fabric

Where the Dutch seek silence and atmosphere, the Spaniard finds connection in sound. The kitchen table is the center of the universe. Everyone talks at once — and that’s exactly the point. The walls are thin, the streets are loud, yet it all feels intimate. Maybe because no one hides behind perfection — life here is always a little messy, but never cold.

The lesson of the patio: being together is enough

In Andalusia, you can sit outside in the evening beneath a neighbor’s paper lantern — someone you’ve never even met — and still feel at home. That’s the true art of cozy living: it happens when no one tries to orchestrate it.

So no, Spaniards don’t need candles. They have each other, the air that stays warm after sunset, and that effortless sense that being together isn’t an activity — it’s a way of life.